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By MELINDA SACKS / Special
to the Mercury News
gathered
around the coffee table in their South Bay home, Nicole, 12, and
twins Kevin and Justin, 8, bring out the brightly colored collages
they made recently to remember their dad, who died just four months
ago.
Eyes tear up as they talk about the photos, writings and drawings
each created to express their feelings of grief.
"This mouth is saying, 'I wish my dad was back,' says Kevin, a
charming little boy who flits from the piano bench to the back of
the sofa to his mother's lap. "And this is the book I made with
Michelle,'' he says, pointing to the handmade paper creation he
has titled "The Book of My Feelings of My Dad.''
It was just last summer that their father, Paul Cha, died of stomach
cancer at 44. With their mother Cathy sitting with them, the children
explain how they are coping with their loss, and how Pathways Hospice
has helped.
Michelle Morgaine, a licensed marriage and family therapist and
spiritual care counselor for Pathways Home Health, Hospice & Continuous
Care, has been spending time with the Cha family since Paul became
seriously ill. During her frequent visits to their home, she has
done everything from art therapy projects to counseling and helping
with funeral arrangements.
Kevin and Justin are so comfortable with her that they sit cuddled
at her side. She strokes their backs as they talk about a subject
too painful for most adults to handle, let alone 8-year-old kids.
Dealing with death and dying is what Pathways, a Mountain View-based
non-profit agency, does best. The free services from staff and volunteers
support families going through the hardest of times.
"I was concerned about my children coping with the loss of their
father and this was a way to deal with it in an untraditional, non-threatening
way in our home, not an office,'' says Cha, a CPA who works at home
these days. "They feel better when we all do something together.''
For Nicole, having a way to express her feelings has helped her
deal with her sadness, she says. Her collages include a question
mark, which she says represents her worry about her brothers growing
up without their father. The word "Thank you'' is there, she explains,
because, "I feel like I never got to tell him thank you for everything.''
Cha and her children are gradually healing, they say, in large
part thanks to Pathways, an organization that survives largely on
donations.
Morgaine's art-therapy tool chest, in particular, could use some
supplies. Each gift
of $50 provides arts and crafts materials, $25
buys a roll of banner paper and $15
purchases colored markers.
For Pathways, $100
provides an afternoon of respite care for an exhausted caregiver
and $180
covers a counseling visit from a social worker.
For
more information on Pathways
Hospice Foundation, go to
www.hospicehomecare.org.
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