Angelica Jimenez and her son, Angelo, are still mourning the loss of Angelo's older brother, Christian. Christian was fatally shot seven months ago.

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A mother's nightmare
SLAIN TEEN'S MOM SEEKS BETTER LIFE FOR 2ND SON

inside the two-room San Jose apartment that is home to Angelica Jimenez and her son, Angelo, candles burn in memory of Christian, who was shot in the neighborhood park seven months ago. A careful, hardworking young mother who spent all her time away from work with her two sons, Angelica can't believe that her older son, a slight 15-year-old who loved soccer and skateboarding, is really gone.

``I still think maybe he will come home,'' she says, sitting at her kitchen table with Angelo, 14. ``I remember the night he was killed every night.''

When Christian didn't come home at 7 p.m., as he had said he would on the evening of April 24, Angelica started to worry. Christian had never been in trouble and always called if he was going to be late. She called the house of the friend he had gone out with, but he wasn't there. By 9 p.m., she started phoning hospitals. Frantic with concern, she went to the police department, but there was no news. At 2 a.m., an officer knocked on her door to tell her that Christian was dead, and her world stopped.

Since that horrific night, everything has changed. Now a small shrine to Christian fills much of the living room that also serves as a bedroom. Photos of a handsome boy with the beginnings of a mustache cover the walls. His favorite toy cars and a stuffed animal from boyhood sit next to a tall glass holding his favorite drink, Red Bull, and a plate with a few of the Mexican pastries he loved. The table is encircled with yellow potted flowers.

Newspaper articles covering the kitchen table tell how Christian was shot by one of three gang members who had tried to pick a fight with his friend. In August, 20-year-old Alexander Diaz was sentenced to 80 years to life in prison for the shooting.

Nowadays, Angelica rides the bus to work with Angelo, dropping him at school before she goes on to her job as a warehouse manager. Angelo stays at a friend's house after school every day. ``I don't feel safe anymore and I don't feel good,'' says his mom. ``Especially when it is dark.''

Angelo likes to draw cartoons and hopes to go to art school in San Francisco after he graduates, but he assures his mother he will come home every weekend. He is a good student and has a lead in the school play. He never imagined he would be the man of the house.

Nothing matters more than Angelo's education, Angelica says, softly patting his shoulder. But since he is growing so fast, department-store gift certificates ($25 each) (21A) for school clothes and shoes would be a help. Bus passes ($52.50 per month (21B) for Angelica; $30 per month (21C) for Angelo) would take a load off their budget. And Angelo would love to have some new sketchbooks ($10 each) (21D) and pastels ($25) (21E).