Emma, 16, and her mother, Nancy, are in a transitional housing program.

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THE WISH: FURNITURE, HOUSEHOLD SUPPLIES, A COMPUTER

Out of abusive relationship, mom and kids start over

nancy never imagined she would end up homeless. The working mother of three was married and living in a nice home she owned with her husband of 16 years. On the outside, she recalls, they were the picture of a happy, functional family.

Inside, though, things were not so good. Nancy's husband became increasingly explosive and abusive. The children often were afraid of their dad. His tirades were so loud, she remembers closing all the windows so the neighbors wouldn't hear and call the police.

It took months of abuse, a weight gain of almost 60 pounds and her children's increasing unhappiness before she decided to leave after her husband, who, although diagnosed with bipolar disorder, refused to take his medication.

In the first shocking weeks without money or a home, Nancy and her children -- Brenda, 18; Emma, 16; and Joseph, 10 -- lived with her mother. When that didn't work out, they moved into a shelter for abused women and their kids, but they could stay only four months.

``You know those houses in the Marina district in San Francisco?'' she asks. ``The ones built on landfill that just collapse in an earthquake? That's what we still feel like -- nothing is ever stable.''

But Nancy is determined to become self-sufficient. Her family now participates in Bridges, a transitional housing program of the Burlingame-based Shelter Network. Bridges is subsidizing the rent on their San Mateo apartment for a year while Nancy works and goes to school, studying for a degree in social work at Cañada College. Brenda has been accepted to West Point on a full scholarship. Emma and Joseph are making strides emotionally and at school.

``I think they are proud of me,'' she says, stirring a giant pot of minestrone soup at her catering job. ``They miss having me home more, but they understand what I'm doing and they feel good about it.''

Nancy and her kids wish for a dining room table and chairs ($300) (5A) so that they can sit down and share a meal. A toaster ($25) (5B), pots and pans ($69) (5C) and a microwave oven ($89) (5D) would help this busy family prepare nutritious meals at home. Joseph would be a lot more comfortable if he had a ``real'' bed ($49) (5E) to replace the box spring on which he now sleeps. A computer ($800) (5F) would help Nancy and the younger kids with their schoolwork -- and keep them all in touch with Brenda while she's at West Point. And Emma and Joseph would love to have bikes to explore their new neighborhood ($75 each) (5G).

For more information on Shelter Network, go to www.shelternetwork.org.

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